The Importance of a Girl Tribe

Updated: Feb 2, 2019

By Tasnin Khan

Graphic: Juliana Velez

“Maybe our girlfriends are our soulmates, and guys are just people to have fun with.” --Carrie Bradshaw

There’s no saying you can’t have both, but Carrie Bradshaw was right on the money in describing our girls as our soulmates to really show the way they influence, inspire, and support us.

They say that you are the average of the five people you are closest to and spend the most time with. Who you choose to surround yourself with is so important, and our time with our girls can make such a huge impact on improving the quality of our life and our general well-being.

Some of my best memories are the adventures on nights out with my best friends in college, or the days we spent in with wine, Netflix, and Domino’s. Whatever we did or however long passed since we got another chance to get together, I always knew that we would pick up right where we left off.

Here are some of the reasons why having a group of genuine girls in your circle can really change your life for the better:

ONE: They keep it all the way real.

The people in your life and the quality of the relationships that you have with them are like a mirror that you hold up to yourself. When you have a genuine solid group of girls that are in your corner, the chances are that they will keep things real with you even when it isn’t easy to do so.

A lot of moments of growth have come thanks to my girls opening my eyes to things that I sometimes needed to hear and may not have even realized at the time. It’s simple to stick around when things are fun and flowery, but most people won’t necessarily be all the way genuine and honest when that’s what you need.

I remember being at a point where I had some toxic habits and common denominators in my life that were zapping my energy, but being cloudy in not being able to realize how these were connected to me not feeling my best. It was only after my girls sat me down and had a conversation with me to call me on my shit that I snapped out of it and started to notice what they were saying.

Don’t get me wrong, sometimes conversations can be uncomfortable or it may be easy to get defensive when your girls tell you things that you may not be ready to acknowledge or accept, but when the dust settled and I reflected I realized a lot from what they were telling me and was able to decide that I wanted to make certain positive changes in my life. It’s so refreshing to know that you have real, genuine girls who have your best interest at heart and watch each other grow over the years and course of your friendship.

TWO: They are there to uplift and empower you.

Energy is currency, and how you choose to spend it and with who can literally change your life - for better or worse. Just as they say misery loves company, the opposite is also true: if you surround yourself with women who inspire you and are doing dope things and are aligned with you in a positive and uplifting mindset, your whole world becomes bigger and more beautiful.

I have had the great blessing of having some incredible sisters walk into my life and become such an incredible support system and network for me. I love knowing that despite our busy schedules and individual passions and different careers, that when my girls and I get together we will always be supportive and celebrate each other. Things like this make especially all the difference as a twenty-something woman just trying to figure it all out.

Nobody is perfectly confident and without doubt or fear at all times; when I feel lost or confused or down on myself, I know that my girls are there to put things in perspective for me and to take me out of that mindset. This is not to say that you should not work on having a solid sense of self and shifting your own mindset; but a little support goes a long way when you find yourself a little too in your own head or worries.

I love my girls for inspiring me with who they are and aspire to be and for always making me want to reach higher and be excited about what’s ahead. If you find yourself around people and in situations that leave you feeling depleted, maybe it is time to really sit down and re-evaluate if the people you surround yourself with are the best ones to go on this journey with you.

THREE: Your partner can’t be everything.

While your partner will want to see you smile and do what he/she can to be there for you and ensure that you feel loved and supported, your partner is one person. It is not realistic for one person to be able to bear the burdens of all of your time, attention, energy, and needs at every moment in time. It is important - for your sanity and well-being- that you have your own people, ambitions, life outside of the relationship.

We’ve all had our moments when we may have slipped up and possibly been a little less present in our friendships for a beat as a result of being in love, but don’t make this a habit! Our girls are not meant to just be our crutches or outlets when we are bored or have more time to tend to when single - they are integral people in our lives and our relationships with them deserve to be nurtured always, not just as a substitute for our man/woman.

These are only a few of the reasons why our girl squad is a gift. There is often so much talk about women tearing each other down, criticizing one another, or competing. But our girl squads are underrated; they can help us all grow, become stronger, and have fun while doing so. 

What does your girl tribe mean to you? Let us know in the comments below.

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